


The rumor come out: does Baz is Satan?

by juiceboxjellyfish



Category: Carry On - Rainbow Rowell
Genre: First Kiss, Getting Together, I'm not sure what this is I didn't have a plan it just happened, M/M, Oneshot, Seventh year, Watford, it doesn't have a plot and nothing makes sense, prompt, seriously tho this is rly bad, you can skip this one
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-29
Updated: 2017-08-29
Packaged: 2018-12-21 11:58:04
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,968
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11943693
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/juiceboxjellyfish/pseuds/juiceboxjellyfish
Summary: Simon follows Baz to the catacombs for no apparent reason, and struggles to motivate his behavior.Based on a prompt by tumblr user oopsprompts





	The rumor come out: does Baz is Satan?

**Author's Note:**

> I should change the title.

BAZ

"How do you expect me to 'prove that I'm not Satan'? How would I even do that?"  
"I don't know Baz but unless you do, I'm going to assume that you are!"

This is by far the craziest accusation Snow has ever thrown at me. Before this, he was at least basing his claims on some sort of logic.  
I'm evil? Well, good and bad is subjective, so in his eyes, since we're enemies, I technically would be.  
I'm a vampire who wants to kill him in his sleep? I mean, I am a vampire. And if I said that I've never thought about biting him, I'd be lying. Can you blame me though? Vampirism kind of comes with blood thirst, and he smells delicious...  
I'm constantly plotting his demise? I do mess with him a lot, and I'm constantly thinking about him. Not in the way he imagines, but still. He's caught me staring lots of times. 

But this? This is just crazy. As far as I'm aware, Snow's not religious. He shouldn't even believe in Satan, and now he's claiming that it's actually me?  
Has he completely lost his mind? He might be bad at talking and a bit slow, but I always assumed he was smarter than this.  
Yet, here we are. 

I'm stood against the wall of the catacombs after being shoved by Snow, and he's accusing me of being the actual devil. I suppose I have to defend myself somehow.  
"Crowley, Snow! I thought you weren't religious, since when do you even believe in Satan?"

 

SIMON

I don't actually think Baz is the devil. I don't know what I'm doing, actually.  
I caught up with him in the catacombs, where I was following him for some reason. I haven't stalked him like this since fifth year, but here I am. Have I completely lost my mind? 

When I found him, he wasn't really doing anything suspicious. (Except for, you know, being in the catacombs. That's pretty fishy by itself.) I couldn't even accuse him of being a vampire, because there were no dead rats or anything.  
But I couldn't just admit to following him around for no reason, because why would I even do that? 

That is kind of what I was doing though. I don't need further proof that he's a vampire, I've known for years. I just saw him in the hallway and decided to stalk him. I really have lost my mind, haven't I? 

So after asking him why he was sneaking around in the catacombs, I somehow ended up accusing him of being Satan. What the fuck was I thinking? When he said that it was ridiculous because he obviously isn't Satan, I shoved him and asked him to prove it.

Now here we are, standing face to face with each other. Baz points out that I'm not religious and shouldn't even believe in the devil.  
He's right.  
Of course he is.  
Why didn't I think about that before accusing him of being the devil? I could just have accused him of preforming a satanistic ritual or something...

I have no idea what to say. I mean, he's right. He's not Satan, and I don't even believe in Satan to begin with. What the fuck do I do now?

 

BAZ

Snow just silently stares at me. Many seconds pass without him saying a word. He just stares at me. I'm so confused.  
What is he trying to accomplish? Why would he follow me to the catacombs, push me into a wall and then accuse me of being Satan, just so stare at me in silence when I say I'm not?

I think it's actually been several minutes. Neither of us have said anything. We're still just standing there, staring. Crowley, this is torture. I have constant daydreams about Snow pressing me against a wall, but they're usually more eventful than this.  
Neither of us say anything. He stares at me.

I think he might have realised that he doesn't believe in the devil.  
He really is terribly stupid sometimes. He's probably trying to think of a way to justify his accusation, but I don't think he's going to come up with anything. We've been standing here for so long, just looking at each other.  
If he doesn't let me go soon, I don't know what I'll do. Something stupid probably.  
(Kiss him? Kill him? Improvise?)

 

SIMON

It's been a few minutes since I discovered my mistake, and I haven't thought of anything to say that won't sound stupid. I'm pretty sure Baz knows exactly what's going on, but I don't want to just walk away. If I let him go without saying anything, I'm admitting my defeat. 

So I just stand there, staring at him. He doesn't do anything. We both stare at each other, and I have no idea what he's thinking. He's always been better than me at keeping a straight face. He's probably plotting something by now.  
He looks focused. His dark grey eyes are fixed on mine but they're glassy, like he's thinking about something else. His eyebrows are furrowed. (He has nice eyebrows. I don't really know a lot about eyebrows, but they're defined and dark. They have a nice shape too. I wonder if he plucks them?) His grey-pink lips are frowning slightly, but I think that's jut what his face naturally looks like.  
A few locks of black hair have fallen down over his forehead, and I kind of want to drag my hand through his hair and shake it a bit so that the rest of his hair falls down too. His hair looks better when it's not slicked back.

Why hasn't he just left? I'm not exactly trapping him. Yeah, I pushed him against the wall and now I'm standing right in front of him, but I'm not holding him or anything. He could just leave.  
Maybe I should be holding him? If he leaves, he gets the last word. (He'll probably get the last word anyway, since I haven't said anything for at least five minutes.)

I extend my arms and grab him, and now I'm actually pressing him against the wall.  
He might be winning the argument, but now I have a physical advantage.

 

BAZ

Snow grabs me and actually presses my back against the wall.  
Fuck. Now I really can't let this last for long, or it's going to be very hard to prevent myself from doing something stupid.

He still doesn't say anything, he just presses me against the wall and stares.  
Aleisteir Crowley, I can't take this. I focus on keeping a straight face.  
I'm having trouble breathing now. He's just so close, and he's pushing me towards the wall even though I can't back any further into it. 

He's very focused, but I don't know on what. Maybe he's just trying to look intimidating. It's not having he effect he's most likely hoping for, but it's definitely doing something. I'm glad I haven't fed yet. The last thing I need right now is blood in my body. 

For how long is he planning to stand like this? Because if it's any longer than five more minutes, I'm going to do something. Probably kiss him. 

 

SIMON

Baz's eyes flicker down to my lips. My grip loosens slightly, and I barely notice it.  
He swallows, and something turns in my stomach.  
His lips are still frowning slightly, but they're not as relaxed now. He's clenching his jaw, and it makes his already ridiculous cheekbones even more noticeable. 

I realise that he's looking at me and can definitely tell that I'm looking at his lips, so I quickly look up, hoping that he's not focusing on my eyes.  
He is.  
He licks his lips, but I don't think he's aware of doing it.  
I notice that I'm biting the inside of my lip. 

I feel kind of short of breath.

 

BAZ

Snow bites his lower lip, and I can't take it anymore.  
I grab his shirt and pull him closer, and then I kiss him.  
I don't care what he thinks. I don't care if he kills me. If he does, at least I got to kiss him first. I always figured Snow would kill me one day, so that day might as well be today. At least it ends this hopeless staring. 

But Snow doesn't stab me. He freezes when my lips first clash with his, but then he kisses back.

 

SIMON

I'm kissing Baz. His lips are cold and soft, and he's kissing like he's wanted this for years. So am I.

 

BAZ

Snow tastes like smoke. I always imagined he would, because that's what he smells like. It's ironic that I'd fall for someone who smells of smoke and whose magic burns like fire. After all, I'm flammable. 

 

SIMON

I wonder wether Baz has kissed a lot of people before me.  
Surely he has. He's an attractive guy.  
Besides, he doesn't feel like a beginner. This kissing feels good, so good.

 

BAZ

He has definitely kissed before. Of course he has, he dated Agatha for ages.  
It's not just that though. He's obviously got practice. He does this thing with his jaw, and it makes me melt. This feels so good.

 

SIMON 

I pull my hands through Baz's hair. It's so soft, and I feel like I've wanted this forever. I think I have.  
Does that mean I'm gay?  
No, I can't be gay, what about Agatha?

I pull back. I almost fall over from the sudden movement.  
AGATHA. I have a girlfriend, and here I am, kissing my sworn enemy in the catacombs!  
I take a step backwards. Baz looks hurt and confused.  
"Agatha..." I say.  
"Fuck" he responds. 

 

BAZ

Agatha. Of course. He's still dating Agatha!  
I just made Snow cheat on his girlfriend.  
Fuck!  
He looks panicked. I probably look panicked too.  
I think he wants to run to her immediately, but he doesn't.

"What do I say to Agatha?" he asks.  
"What do you mean?"  
"Well-" he says, and starts blushing. "-why did you kiss me?"  
I don't know what to say. Do I tell the truth?  
Well, I suppose there's no use in lying now.  
"Because I wanted to. Because I've wanted to for years, and you were so close."  
He doesn't look appalled or angry, so I continue.  
"Because I'm in love with you." 

Snow stands silently for a little while before answering.  
"I think... Well, it's hard to be sure about anything. I wanted to kiss you too, I'm sure about that much." He pauses, and bites his lip.  
"And-" he continues "I think I like you. I don't know if I'm in love with you, but I apparently like you enough to forget about my girlfriend." He goes silent again.  
"So, what are you going to do?" I ask him. He thinks for a moment.  
"I have to break up with her. If it's that easy for me to betray her... She deserves better." He looks sad.  
"I personally couldn't imagine anyone being better than you" I say, because I'm hopeless and in love and apparently now that I've admitted that, I can't shut up.  
He blushes and hides his face in his hands.  
"Shut up, you're stupid" he mumbles, and I walk up to him. I grab his wrists and pull his hands away from his face so he can see that I'm smiling at him.  
"But you're right" I say. "You and Wellbelove aren't right for each other. And I'm not just saying that because I wish you'd date me instead."  
Crowley, I really have no filter today. Snow tries to hide a smile.  
"Date you?" he asks. There's a mischievous glimmer in his eyes.  
"You haven't even proved that you're not Satan!"

**Author's Note:**

> Simon Snow's guide to getting a boyfriend:  
> 1\. Stalk him for no reason  
> 2\. Approach him in the catacombs  
> 3\. Accuse him of being Satan  
> 4\. Stare at him for some minutes  
> 5\. Kiss.
> 
> Thanks for reading whatever that was, please leave a comment!  
> I love to read them, they make my day!


End file.
